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Kulfon1111 (dyskusja | edycje) Dodałem cytaty z angielskiej wersji |
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Linia 42:
* Czemu mi nikt nie powiedział, że smakowanie rzeczy smakuje tak dobrze?
** Postać: Bender
<br />
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Cytaty i dialogi z anglojęzycznej (oryginalnej) wersji serialu
| <!--1.01--> | [[#Space Pilot 3000 | Space Pilot 3000]]
| <!--2.01--> | [[#I Second That Emotion | I Second That Emotion]]
| <!--3.01--> | [[#Amazon Women in the Mood| Amazon Women in the Mood]]
| <!--4.01--> | [[#Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch | Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch]]
|-
| <!--1.02--> | [[#The Series Has Landed | The Series Has Landed]]
| <!--2.02--> | [[#Brannigan Begin Again | Brannigan Begin Again]]
| <!--3.02--> | [[#Parasites Lost | Parasites Lost]]
| <!--4.02--> | [[#Leela's Homeworld | Leela's Homeworld]]
|-
| <!--1.03--> | [[#I, Roommate | I, Roommate]]
| <!--2.03--> | [[#A Head in the Polls | A Head in the Polls]]
| <!--3.03--> | [[#A Tale of Two Santas | A Tale of Two Santas]]
| <!--4.03--> | [[#Love and Rocket | Love and Rocket]]
|-
| <!--1.04--> | [[#Love's Labors Lost in Space | Love's Labors Lost in Space]]
| <!--2.04--> | [[#Xmas Story | Xmas Story]]
| <!--3.04--> | [[#The Luck of the Fryrish | The Luck of the Fryrish]]
| <!--4.04--> | [[#Less Than Hero | Less Than Hero]]
|-
| <!--1.05--> | [[#Fear of a Bot Planet | Fear of a Bot Planet]]
| <!--2.05--> | [[#Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love? | Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?]]
| <!--3.05--> | [[#The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz | The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz]]
| <!--4.05--> | [[#A Taste of Freedom | A Taste of Freedom]]
|-
| <!--1.06--> | [[#A Fishful of Dollars | A Fishful of Dollars]]
| <!--2.06--> | [[#Lesser of Two Evils | Lesser of Two Evils]]
| <!--3.06--> | [[#Bendless Love | Bendless Love]]
| <!--4.06--> | [[#Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV | Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV]]
|-
| <!--1.07--> | [[#My Three Suns | My Three Suns]]
| <!--2.07--> | [[#Put Your Head on my Shoulder | Put Your Head on my Shoulder]]
| <!--3.07--> | [[#The Day the Earth Stood Stupid | The Day The Earth Stood Stupid]]
| <!--4.07--> | [[#Jurassic Bark | Jurassic Bark]]
|-
| <!--1.08--> | [[#A Big Piece of Garbage | A Big Piece of Garbage]]
| <!--2.08--> | [[#Raging Bender | Raging Bender]]
| <!--3.08--> | [[#That's Lobstertainment | That's Lobstertainment]]
| <!--4.08--> | [[#Crimes of the Hot | Crimes of the Hot]]
|-
| <!--1.09--> | [[#Hell Is Other Robots | Hell Is Other Robots]]
| <!--2.09--> | [[#A Bicyclops Built For Two | A Bicyclops Built For Two]]
| <!--3.09--> | [[#The Cyber House Rules | The Cyber House Rules]]
| <!--4.09--> | [[#Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles | Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles]]
|-
| <!--1.10--> | [[#A Flight to Remember | A Flight to Remember]]
| <!--2.10--> | [[#A Clone of My Own | A Clone of My Own]]
| <!--3.10--> | [[#Where the Buggalo Roam | Where the Buggalo Roam]]
| <!--4.10--> | [[#The Why of Fry | The Why of Fry]]
|-
| <!--1.11--> | [[#Mars University | Mars University]]
| <!--2.11--> | [[#How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back | How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back]]
| <!--3.11--> | [[#Insane in the Mainframe | Insane in the Mainframe]]
| <!--4.11--> | [[#Where No Fan Has Gone Before | Where No Fan Has Gone Before]]
|-
| <!--1.12--> | [[#When Aliens Attack | When Aliens Attack]]
| <!--2.12--> | [[#The Deep South | The Deep South]]
| <!--3.12--> | [[#The Route of All Evil | The Route of All Evil]]
| <!--4.12--> | [[#The Sting | The Sting]]
|-
| <!--1.13--> | [[#Fry and the Slurm Factory | Fry and the Slurm Factory]]
| <!--2.13--> | [[#Bender Gets Made | Bender Gets Made]]
| <!--3.13--> | [[#Bendin' in the Wind | Bendin' in the Wind]]
| <!--4.13--> | [[#Bend Her | Bend Her]]
|-
| <!--1.14--> |
| <!--2.14--> | [[#Mother's Day | Mother's Day]]
| <!--3.14--> | [[#Time Keeps on Slippin' | Time Keeps on Slippin']]
| <!--4.14--> | [[#Obsoletely Fabulous | Obsoletely Fabulous]]
|-
| <!--1.15--> |
| <!--2.15--> | [[#The Problem With Popplers | The Problem With Popplers]]
| <!--3.15--> | [[#I Dated a Robot | I Dated a Robot]]
| <!--4.15--> | [[#The Farnsworth Parabox | The Farnsworth Parabox]]
|-
| <!--1.16--> |
| <!--2.16--> | [[#Anthology of Interest I | Anthology of Interest I]]
| <!--3.16--> | [[#A Leela of Her Own | A Leela of Her Own]]
| <!--4.16--> | [[#Three Hundred Big Boys | Three Hundred Big Boys]]
|-
| <!--1.17--> |
| <!--2.17--> | [[#War Is the H-Word | War Is the H-Word]]
| <!--3.17--> | [[#A Pharaoh to Remember | A Pharaoh to Remember]]
| <!--4.17--> | [[#Spanish Fry | Spanish Fry]]
|-
| <!--1.18--> |
| <!--2.18--> | [[#The Honking | The Honking]]
| <!--3.18--> | [[#Anthology of Interest II | Anthology of Interest II]]
| <!--4.18--> | [[#The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings | Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings]]
|-
| <!--1.19--> |
| <!--2.19--> | [[#The Cryonic Woman | The Cryonic Woman]]
| <!--3.19--> | [[#Roswell That Ends Well | Roswell That Ends Well]]
| <!--4.19--> |
|-
| <!--1.20--> |
| <!--2.20--> |
| <!--3.20--> | [[#Godfellas | Godfellas]]
| <!--4.20--> |
|-
| <!--1.21--> |
| <!--2.21--> |
| <!--3.21--> | [[#Future Stock | Future Stock]]
| <!--4.21--> |
|-
| <!--1.22--> |
| <!--2.22--> |
| <!--3.22--> | [[#The 30% Iron Chef | The 30% Iron Chef]]
| <!--4.22--> |
|-
|}
== Season 1 ==
=== ''[[w:Space Pilot 3000|Space Pilot 3000]]'' ===
:'''Fry''': Whoa…a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama character)|Bender]]''': Bite my shiny metal ass.
:'''Fry''': It doesn't look so shiny to me.
:'''Bender''': Shinier than yours, meatbag.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': Why would a robot need to drink?
:'''Bender''': I don't ''need'' to drink. I can quit anytime I want!
=== ''[[w:The Series Has Landed|The Series Has Landed]]'' ===
:'''Leela''': Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
:'''Fry''': Well, let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
:'''Bender''': Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.
:'''Leela''': OK, if everyone's finished being stupid—
:'''Fry''': I had more, but you go ahead.
:'''Leela''': We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home.
:'''Fry''': But I've never been to the moon!
:'''Leela''': Ok, we'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go ride the bumper cars.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': Leela's gonna kill me.
:'''Bender''': No, she'll probably make me do it.
=== ''[[w:I, Roommate|I, Roommate]]'' ===
:''[Professor Farnsworth is talking on the phone.]''
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ...To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? ...To shreds, you say!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Bender''': Of all the friends I've had... you're the first.
=== ''[[w:Love's Labours Lost in Space|Love's Labors Lost in Space]]'' ===
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Look, last night was a mistake.
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': A sexy mistake.
:'''Leela''': No, just a regular mistake.
=== ''[[w:Fear of a Bot Planet|Fear of a Bot Planet]]'' ===
:'''Robot #1''': Administer the test.
:'''Robot #2''': Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: a large properly formatted data file?
:'''Robot #1''': Choose!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
:'''Robot #2''': No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Then we'll go with that data file!
:'''Robot #2''': Correct!
:'''Robot #1''': The flower would also have been acceptable.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': We're rescuing ya.
:'''Bender''': I don't want to be rescued.
:'''Fry''': Say what?
:'''Bender''': I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
=== ''[[w:A Fishful of Dollars|A Fishful of Dollars]]'' ===
:''[Fry starts playing an audio tape recording of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back."]''
:'''Leela''': Fry, you can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
:'''Fry''': I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off my stereo.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things.
:'''Bender''': I'm a thing.
=== ''[[w:My Three Suns|My Three Suns]]'' ===
:'''Leela''': This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror and I'd like it to be a pleasant one.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
=== ''[[w:A Big Piece of Garbage|A Big Piece of Garbage]]'' ===
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Ooh, name it after me!
<hr width="50%"/>
:''[The Planet Express crew have watched an online movie about the solution to the garbage problem in New York.]''
:'''Fry''': Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Actually, that's still true.
:''[In the movie]''
:'''Female Scientist''': Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?
:'''Male Scientist''': With gusto.
=== ''[[w:Hell Is Other Robots|Hell Is Other Robots]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Oh, why couldn't he have picked a more mainstream religion, like [[w:Oprah Winfrey|Oprahism,]] or voodoo?
=== ''[[w:A Flight to Remember|A Flight to Remember]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': You guys go on without me! I'm going to go... look for more stuff to steal!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': You're going back for the Countess, aren't you?
:'''Bender''': Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.
:'''Fry''': I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
:'''Bender''': I love you, buddy!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Countess de LaRoca''': Bender, you risked your life to save me!
:'''Bender''': And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
=== ''[[w:Mars University|Mars University]]'' ===
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Guenter''': All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit... that's why I'm transferring to business school!
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Noooooo!
=== ''[[w:When Aliens Attack|When Aliens Attack]]'' ===
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
:'''Fry''': You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
=== ''[[w:Fry and the Slurm Factory|Fry and the Slurm Factory]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
:'''Glermo''': Why, those are the [[w:Oompa Loompa|Grunka-Lunkas]]! They work here in the Slurm factory.
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Tell them I hate them.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Glermo''': You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie!
:'''Fry''': When will that be?
:'''Glermo''': Soon enough.
:'''Fry''': That's not soon enough!
== Season 2 ==
=== ''[[w:I Second That Emotion (Futurama)|I Second That Emotion]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
:'''Dwayne''': Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': No. We're on the top.
:'''Fry''': Daylight and everything.
:'''Vyolet''': It must be wonderful.
:'''Bender''': Meh.
=== ''[[w:Brannigan Begin Again|Brannigan Begin Again]]'' ===
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Throw her in the brig.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': We don't have a brig.
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as the brig.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.
:'''Leela''': I never loved you.
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': I meant ''physically''. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
:'''Leela''': You wouldn't know how to do any of those.
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Kif might!
=== ''[[w:A Head in the Polls|A Head in the Polls]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Morbo''': Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
:'''[[w:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon's Head]]''': Hello Morbo, how's the family?
:'''Morbo''': Belligerent and numerous.
:'''Richard Nixon's Head''': Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
=== ''[[w:Xmas Story|Xmas Story]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Whose blood?
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Eh, some guy's.
=== ''[[w:Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?|Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]]''': Hmm, this love intrigues me. Teach me to fake it!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Dr. Zoidberg''': Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. [[w:disemboweling|Disemboweling]] in your species: fatal or non-fatal?
:'''Fry''': Fatal.
:'''Dr. Zoidberg''': ''[hands Bender a wad of dollar bills]'' Large bet on myself in round one.
=== ''[[w:Lesser of Two Evils (Futurama)|Lesser of Two Evils]]'' ===
:'''Voice on T.V.''': Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Shut up and get to the point!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Bender?! You stole the atom.
:'''Bender''': I can explain. It's very valuable.
=== ''[[w:Put Your Head on My Shoulder (Futurama)|Put Your Head on my Shoulder]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head."
=== ''[[w:Raging Bender|Raging Bender]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:George Foreman|George Foreman]]''': As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.
:'''[[w:Rich Little|Rich Little]]''': No argument here.
=== ''[[w:A Bicyclops Built For Two|A Bicyclops Built For Two]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': Behold, the internet.
:'''Fry''': [[2001: A Space Odyssey|My God, it's full of ads]]!
<hr width="50%"/>
:''[Bender is disguised as a sexy nurse, talking to a chat room participant.]''
:'''Bender''': Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.
:'''Chat room participant''': Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most.
:''[He hands Bender the money.]''
:'''Bender''': So, how 'bout them [[w:New York Knicks|Knicks]]?
=== ''[[w:A Clone of My Own|A Clone of My Own]]'' ===
:'''Cubert''': Your explanations are pure weapons grade balognium. It's all impossible.
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Nothing is impossible. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about.
:'''Cubert''': No, that's what being a magical elf is all about.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be...
=== ''[[w:How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back|How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back]]'' ===
:''[Hermes is threatening to jump off a building.]''
:'''Planet Express Crew''': No! Don't jump!
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Do a flip!
<hr width="50%" />
:'''Number 1.0''': Guards! Give me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!
=== ''[[w:The Deep South (Futurama)|The Deep South]]'' ===
:''[Fry is presented with an egg-sized pill which will allow him to withstand the pressure underwater.]''
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Are you crazy? I can't swallow that.
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''' Well, then good news! It's a suppository.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Leela''': Where's Fry?
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': I didn't kill him. Professor?
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': No, I've been busy.
=== ''[[w:Bender Gets Made|Bender Gets Made]]'' ===
:'''Supplicant''': Please, Don-Bot... look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!
:'''Don-Bot''': File not found.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Don-Bot''': Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.
=== ''[[w:Mother's Day (Futurama)|Mother's Day]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Greeting Card''': Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?
:'''Greeting Card''': No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!
:'''Bender''': Yes! In your face, [[w:Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi|Gandhi]]!
=== ''[[w:The Problem With Popplers|The Problem With Popplers]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': They're like sex, except I'm having them!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain!
=== ''[[w:Anthology of Interest I|Anthology of Interest I]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me!
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Oh God, what have I done?
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': I just told you! You've killed me!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ''It is!'' My precious torso!
=== ''[[w:War Is the H-Word|War Is the H-Word]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Soldier''': This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': And then the battle's not so bad?
:'''Soldier''': Oh right. I forgot about the battle.
=== ''[[w:The Honking|The Honking]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': And until then, I can never die?
:'''Fortune-Telling Robot''': Who said that? SURE you can die! ''[pulls out big gun]'' You want to die?!
:'''Bender''': No! I want to live! There's still too many things I don't own!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Calculon''': I was all of history's great robot actors - Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; [[w:David Duchovny|David Duchovny]]!
=== ''[[w:The Cryonic Woman|The Cryonic Woman]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Dr. Zoidberg''': For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.
== Season 3 ==
=== ''[[w:Amazon Women in the Mood|Amazon Women in the Mood]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
=== ''[[w:Parasites Lost|Parasites Lost]]'' ===
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry's worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]]''': There's no part of that sentence I didn't like!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': It's like a party in my mouth and everybody's throwing up!
=== ''[[w:A Tale of Two Santas|A Tale of Two Santas]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony?
:'''Pramala''': Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
:'''Bender''': And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': I'm Santa Claus!
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': No, I'm Santa Claus!
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': We're also Santa Claus!
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]]''': And I'm his friend Jesus.
:'''Mayor''': You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?
=== ''[[w:The Luck of the Fryrish|The Luck of the Fryrish]]'' ===
:'''Young Fry''': Ah, the ''[[w:The Breakfast Club|Breakfast Club]]'' soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff!
<hr width="50%" />
:'''Fry''': Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing.
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': I'll get my kit!
=== ''[[w:The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz|The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz]]'' ===
:'''Free Waterfall Sr.''': If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Hyperchicken''': Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.
:'''Bender''': Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you just got me the death penalty?
=== ''[[w:Bendless Love|Bendless Love]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Sorry I'm not your lover boy Flexo, whom you love so much. You love any one even pretending to be him!
:'''Angleyne''': Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.
:'''Bender''': Oh how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!
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:'''Professor Farnsworth''': ...You have a dime up your nose.
:'''Fry''': Oh, I wish... It's a nickel.
=== ''[[w:The Day the Earth Stood Stupid|The Day the Earth Stood Stupid]]'' ===
:'''Big Brain''': Foolish human race! Organizing your knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
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:'''Morbo''': Morbo can't understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that's shaped like a man wearing a hat.
:'''Linda''': It's a 'T'. It goes 'tuh'.
:'''Morbo''': Hello, little man. I will destroy you!
=== ''[[w:That's Lobstertainment!|That's Lobstertainment]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!
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:'''Calculon''': Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own [[w:Academy Award|Oscar]].
=== ''[[w:The Cyber House Rules|The Cyber House Rules]]'' ===
:'''Amy''': What are their names?
:'''Bender''': Kids have names?
:'''Orphan''': My name is Nina, this is Albert-
:'''Bender''': -And from now on you're all named Bender Jr.
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:'''Orphan''': Daddy Bender, we're hungry.
:'''Bender''': What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. ''[pause]'' Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
:'''Orphan''': Can we have Bender Burgers again?
:'''Bender''': No. The cat shelter's on to me!
=== ''[[w:Where the Buggalo Roam|Where the Buggalo Roam]]'' ===
:'''Martian''': I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
:'''Zapp Brannigan''': Take me to your leader!
:'''Martian''': Moving along...
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:'''Zapp Brannigan''': ''[introducing himself]'' I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan!
=== ''[[w:Insane in the Mainframe|Insane in the Mainframe]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.
:'''[[w:Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]]''': You're going to do his laundry?
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:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Negative, bossy meat creature!
=== ''[[w:The Route of All Evil|The Route of All Evil]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.
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:'''Dwight''': Can I use the gun?
:'''Hermes''': What kind of a father would I be if I said no?
=== ''[[w:Bendin' in the Wind|Bendin' in the Wind]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]]''': It's toe-tappingly tragic!
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:'''[[w:Beck|Beck]]''': Bender, that was an amazing three hour washboard solo. The parts when I was awake blew my mind!
=== ''[[w:Time Keeps on Slippin'|Time Keeps on Slippin']]'' ===
:'''Leela''': I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas.
:'''Hermes''': I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day.
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems.
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:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court!
:''[Farnsworth presses a button, revealing an arsenal of doomsday weapons.]''
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': I suppose I could part with ''one'' and still be feared…
=== ''[[w:I Dated a Robot|I Dated a Robot]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.
<hr width="50%" />
:'''[[w:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]]''': Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.
=== ''[[w:A Leela of Her Own|A Leela of Her Own]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk!
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': How much did you make me?
:'''Bender''': One hundred dollars.
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:''[Leela is signing autographs.]''
:'''Leela''': Who am I making this out to?
:'''Girl''': Ummm…to [[w:eBay|eBay]]?
:'''Leela''': That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"?
=== ''[[w:A Pharaoh to Remember|A Pharaoh to Remember]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Bender, we're trying our best.
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Your best is an idiot!
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:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go.
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': That's the ONLY thing about being a slave.
=== ''[[w:Anthology of Interest II|Anthology of Interest II]]'' ===
:'''Fry''': Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.
:'''[[w:Turange Leela|Leela]]''': I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!
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:'''Leela''': Why did you bring us here?
:'''Dr. Zoidberg''': And why did ''I'' have to take a cab?
=== ''[[w:Roswell That Ends Well|Roswell That Ends Well]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Professor Hubert Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': For example, if you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist!
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': But existing is basically all I do!
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:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': We're in the middle of nowhere, which is the safest part of nowhere.
=== ''[[w:Godfellas|Godfellas]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': You know, I was God once.
:'''God''': Yes, I saw. You were doing good, until everyone died.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''God''': Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
:'''Bender''': Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
:'''God''': Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
=== ''[[w:Future Stock|Future Stock]]'' ===
:'''Hermes''': We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
:'''That Guy''': Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
:'''[[w:Amy Wong|Amy]]''': Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ''will''?
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:'''Bender''': Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!
=== ''[[w:30% Iron Chef|The 30% Iron Chef]]'' ===
:''[Dr. Zoidberg has broken the professor's ship-in-a-bottle.]''
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]]''': Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg ''fixes'' the bottle... then perhaps gifts!
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:'''Bender''': I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc [[w:Saucier|Saucier]], which I just made up. Uhh... also, comes with double prize money.
== Season 4 ==
=== ''[[w:Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch|Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Attila the Hun|Attila the Hun]]''': Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
:'''[[w:Zapp Brannigan|Zapp Brannigan]]''': Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!
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:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here.
:'''[[w:Doctor Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]]''': Also Zoidberg.
=== ''[[w:Leela's Homeworld|Leela's Homeworld]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!
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:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
:'''Fry''': Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
=== ''[[w:Love and Rocket|Love and Rocket]]'' ===
:''[Bender and Planet Express Ship are arguing over using public funds for controversial art.]''
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
:'''Planet Express Ship''': Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it?
:'''Bender''': Why not indeed!
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually!
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:'''Planet Express Ship''': I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that.
:'''Bender''': Okay, I like a challenge.
=== ''[[w:Less Than Hero|Less Than Hero]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.
=== ''[[w:A Taste of Freedom|A Taste of Freedom]]'' ===
:'''Nixon's Head''': In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Anyone who laughs is a communist!
<hr width=50%/>
:'''Fry''': Hey, wait, I'm having one of those things... you know, a headache with pictures.
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': An idea?
:'''Fry''': Mmm! Mmm hmm!
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:'''Supreme Court Justice''': In a shocking double-whammy. We find that polygamy is constitutional.
:'''Crowd''': ''Boooooooo!''
:'''Waterfall Sr''': I can't wait to tell my husband!
:'''Crowd''': '''BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'''
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:'''Waterfall Sr''': You may crush my body, but you'll never crush my spirit! *gets crushed by mobile oppresion fortress* GAH! MY SPIRIT!
=== ''[[w:Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV|Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
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:'''Bender''': Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
=== ''[[w:Jurassic Bark|Jurassic Bark]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
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:'''Fry''': You can see how I lived before I met you.
:'''Bender''': You lived before you met me?!
:'''Fry''': Yeah, lots of people did.
:'''Bender''': Really?!
=== ''[[w:Crimes of the Hot|Crimes of the Hot]]'' ===
:'''Al Gore''': My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ''Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth'', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.
:'''Wizard in the Audience''': Oh sure! Blame the wizards!
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:'''Linda''': I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
:'''Morbo''': Windmills do not work that way! Good night!
=== ''[[w:Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles|Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles]]'' ===
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now ''I'' have to pay ''them''!
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:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.
=== ''[[w:The Why of Fry|The Why of Fry]]'' ===
:'''Male Nibblonian''': Does he not know?
:'''Nibbler''': He does not know.
:'''Female Nibblonian''': He knows not?
:'''Nibbler''': Knows not does he.
:'''Nibblonian''': Naught he knows?
:'''Male Nibblonian''': Enough! Fry, it is my duty to inform you that the fate of humanity, the fate of our race, indeed the fate of all that exists and all that will exist rests with you. You are the single most important person in the universe.
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': Oh snap!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''Fry''': But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.
:'''Nibbler''': Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.
=== ''[[w:Where No Fan Has Gone Before|Where No Fan Has Gone Before]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Leonard Nimoy|Leonard Nimoy]]''': Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. When I directed ''[[Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home|Star Trek IV]]'', I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
:'''[[William Shatner|William Shatner]]''': And when I directed ''[[Star Trek V: The Final Frontier|Star Trek V]]'', I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected ''me'' so much.
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Walter Koenig|Walter Koenig]]''': And when we woke up, we had these bodies.
:'''Fry''': Say it in Russian!
:'''Walter Koenig''': ''[sigh]'' Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.
:'''Fry''': Wheee! Now say "[[Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home|nuclear w<!--intentional, do not change -->essels]]"!
:'''Walter Koenig''': No!
=== ''[[w:The Sting (Futurama)|The Sting]]'' ===
:'''Father Changstein''': I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': Soothe us with sweet lies.
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:'''Fry''': Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
=== ''[[w:Bend Her|Bend Her]]'' ===
:'''Bender''': Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.
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:'''Bender''': Emotions are dumb and should be hated.
=== ''[[w:Obsoletely Fabulous|Obsoletely Fabulous]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.
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:''[The Planet Express crew is trapped under the ship, surrounded by a ring of burning fuel.]''
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! ''[pause]'' Also, we're dying!
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg!
=== ''[[w:The Farnsworth Parabox|The Farnsworth Parabox]]'' ===
:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.
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:'''Professor Farnsworth''': Yes, it's the apocalypse all right. I always thought I'd have a hand in it.
=== ''[[w:Three Hundred Big Boys|Three Hundred Big Boys]]'' ===
:'''[[w:Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!
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:''[Morbo's wife is adjusting his tie.]''
:'''Morbo''': Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will ''destroy'' you!
=== ''[[w:Spanish Fry|Spanish Fry]]'' ===
:'''Ndnd''': For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your ''first'' wife was the one who liked lilacs!
:'''Lrrr''': She also liked to shut up!
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:'''Lrrr''': [[The Honeymooners#Ralph Kramden|One of these days, Ndnd. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8]]!
=== ''[[w:The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings|The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings]]'' ===
:'''[[w:List of recurring robot characters from Futurama#Robot Devil|Robot Devil]]''': This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
<hr width="50%"/>
:'''[[w:Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
:'''[[w:Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': You may have to "metaphorically" make a deal with the "devil." And by "devil," I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically," I mean get your coat.
[[Kategoria:Seriale animowane]]
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